Dear Potential Employer:
If you have managed to find my blog I think you should know that I will be a wonderful asset to your company. Please ignore the conversations with my dog and any references to my mental state. I assure you that Mr. Shrink has this all under control. Though it is true that I sometimes like to wear my cape while conquering the world it is a mighty fine cape of the utmost quality.
Yes, I set a goal in 2014 to poop rainbows and fart glitter. Can you imagine how awesome your office is going to look now? My mere presence is going to boost your sales. I am going to need space for my security detail. They are excellent at deterring would be burglars or rogue squirrels. They also know how to disarm angry customers by tossing their feet into the air and requesting belly rubs. No one can resist that.
I truly am an Administrative Assistant/Secretary/Payroll Clerk/Office Manager Extraordinaire! My bubbly aura is quite contagious. I once received “Employee of the Month” for 12 months straight. Ok, so there were only two of us left in the office and I was the only one allowed to vote BUT I did receive a trophy and everything.
So, just ignore any reservations you may have about my sanity and jump on my unicorn. I’ll organize your files and whip into shape your entire office with a mere sweep of my wand.
Sincerely,
The best employee you’ll ever have
mostlytrueramblings 