Tag Archives: random

Don’t read this!


What are you doing? You’re reading this aren’t you. Someone will know. You’re such a rebel. Rule breaker! You might as well keep going now. I feel I must tell you though, these are minutes of your life that you can’t get back. Somewhere in your heart you just know there will be a life changing bit of knowledge in here. Your vested now. There is no turning back.

DON’T SCROLL DOWN! Didn’t think I would notice you skipping ahead? Seriously, can you just try to be good for once.

Ok, so here it is. Shame, failure, my little secret. I saw a post on facebook that said “If you love your Mother, share this post in 2 seconds.” I didn’t do it. I didn’t. I hesitated. Then I just didn’t do it. I know, how do I sleep at night? Yesterday I didn’t love Jesus in 10 seconds. How do I live with myself? How can I go on with this sham I’m living?

Will I burn in hell now? Is there hope for my recovery? I fear I may have crossed a line that I cannot return from. If you see my vacant soul roaming the streets please return it to my husband. He is hungry and out of clean undies now.


Wait, what are you fighting for?

I personally believe if you dwell on a subject you are giving weight to that subject. With this in mind it would be absurd to dwell on the very thing that bothers you. Humans have fought for their causes since time began. It makes sense right? Well, not exactly. In order to fight for your cause you need to dwell on the thing which you like and promote that. Am I stating the obvious? Nope, this idea seems to evade the human race.

John Q. Public is intent on dwelling on the very thing that he is against. Let’s say for instance that “World Peace” is his cause.  Ole Johnny here makes his picketing signs and paces in front of the capitol to fight for world peace. He blows up pictures of people injured in war and parades those signs warning others of the horror inflicted by these un-peaceful things.  He has pictures of people rebelling against authorities and bombards everyone he knows with the very thing he is against. He logs into his facebook page and he shares every news story he can find about the horrors of war usually with a short sentence at the top about how awful these people are.

What John Q. Public just did was make sure that war, rebels and injured soldiers are on your mind. He worked very hard to make you think about the thing that he does not like. Now, not only is Ole Johnny thinking about these horrors but he has planted these images in your mind also. So, maybe you agree with Johnny and think these things are horrible too so you join Johnny in sharing these stories and pictures. Everyone in our social circle is now thinking and talking about these un-peaceful things. John Q. Public is so proud of himself. He brought more knowledge about the very thing he is against into the public eye so that more people are thinking about it. Johnny is so brilliant.

BUT WAIT! I’m confused. I thought John Q. Public was for world peace? No one in his social circle is thinking or talking about peace. We’re all talking about the exact opposite. In fact, we are sometimes writing hateful things explaining the horrible videos we post. We are angry now.

Why didn’t Johnny enlarge pictures of people from different nationalities socializing and smiling? Isn’t that what Johnny really wanted? Why won’t he dwell on what he wants?

I swear this is not about food

How come you never hear of a dessert made with pasta? We make baked puddings with rice and bread. Why not pasta? I could see it in a baked custard with nutmeg or maybe a pasta salad with yogurt and fruit. Have I gone linguine and lost my manicotti? It’s not like we’re scared of carb overload in this country. We eat chicken n dressing at every holiday.

This is what I was thinking about on my way home from work. When I first became the current reigning Mrs. Fisk I was confused by Mr. Fisk who would often ask me what I was thinking about. He doesn’t do that anymore. When I am thinking it is usually of something absurd like pasta custard. Much of the time though there is absolutely nothing going on in there. I may be staring out the window at the trees as we drive down the road. Mr. Fisk has learned that this does not mean that I am contemplating world peace. I very well may have completely emptied my brain and am just looking at trees. There are no wheels turning in there. I got nothin’.

I actually come by this naturally. My Father could go days without saying a word to you. He was not mad. He simply did not see a need to speak unless he had something important to say. Often times he would whistle to convey a need. He had a whistle that translated into “Bring me a glass of tea.” He was a very good whistler and trained me at a young age to interpret his needs. After he passed away I was home one day and thought I heard that whistle. I made a glass of sweet tea and headed out the back door with it before I realized what I was doing.

Over the last fifteen years I have gotten much better at talking. My poor husband has worked hard to teach me to talk. For me feelings were something you feel and not something you talk about. My Father never once told me he loved me but I have no doubt that he did. I still can’t deliver sonnets about my love for my husband but there is a little less cricket chirping when he asks me how much I love him. I have yet to figure out what the correct answer to that question is. The best answer I have so far is “More than bacon”. Nope, I am not a poet laureate.

Quick! Somebody call my Psychiatrist!

Me n Kenny

The squirrel is wearing the lipstick. That’s the secret code. Don’t ever forget it. We may need to use it in the future.

If I had a duck I’d name it Quackers and he would do some really funny duck stuff. These are the kind of thoughts that run through my head when I am idle. I should never be idle. Seriously, someone could get hurt. Some days my brain seems to cycle so fast there are constant images rambling through that seem to have nothing to do with each other. Just complete chaos. I’ll see cute animals, a grand palace, an apostle doing apostle things, a murder, a new way to work out, all while trying to remember if I put the clothes in the dryer. It’s just nonstop spinning. Maybe that’s why I rarely ever get bored. I can entertain myself just by closing my eyes.

Your scared now aren’t you? Your thinking, this girl is completely bonkers and I so want to be her friend. Well congratulations! Today and today only I am running a special on friendship. For three easy payments of $29.95 I will be your best friend and listen to all of your incessant whining. We will eat butter pecan ice cream and watch a chick flick. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required.