Tag Archives: Facebook

Don’t read this!


What are you doing? You’re reading this aren’t you. Someone will know. You’re such a rebel. Rule breaker! You might as well keep going now. I feel I must tell you though, these are minutes of your life that you can’t get back. Somewhere in your heart you just know there will be a life changing bit of knowledge in here. Your vested now. There is no turning back.

DON’T SCROLL DOWN! Didn’t think I would notice you skipping ahead? Seriously, can you just try to be good for once.

Ok, so here it is. Shame, failure, my little secret. I saw a post on facebook that said “If you love your Mother, share this post in 2 seconds.” I didn’t do it. I didn’t. I hesitated. Then I just didn’t do it. I know, how do I sleep at night? Yesterday I didn’t love Jesus in 10 seconds. How do I live with myself? How can I go on with this sham I’m living?

Will I burn in hell now? Is there hope for my recovery? I fear I may have crossed a line that I cannot return from. If you see my vacant soul roaming the streets please return it to my husband. He is hungry and out of clean undies now.


Deep Thoughts

InternetWhy do all dogs with facebook pages spell poorly? They were smart enough to set up their own page and somehow type with those little paws. Why can’t they spell?

aiWhy do internet cats say “ai” instead of “I”? Are they so brilliant that they need an extra letter in the simplest of words?

Why did the internet cat “eated” a cookie? My cat wouldn’t eat a cookie unless you dipped it in tuna juice.

Why do I follow so many pet pages on facebook? Do I really believe this dog is talking to me?

What was life like before kitten videos? Did people just go around angry all the time?

MittensHow come Mittens has an iphone? Who the crap bought an iphone for Mittens?

If you can’t stop it then why the hell are you promoting it?

Dear Facebook Friends:
Whenever a story starts with “Bone chilling footage” I automatically turn a way. I don’t want my bones chilled thank you very much! I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to see or read anything heartbreaking. You can keep your pictures of mutilated bodies and dying children. This also includes all of the repeatedly shared photos of abused animals.
You see, I can’t help them. There is not a damn thing I can do. You may call yourself “increasing awareness” but all you have done is give me nightmares and make me cry about something that is out of my control. I don’t care how much legislature is passed or how many picket lines are formed. There will always be horrible things happening on this earth because man can be quite cruel.
You know the picture of the Hispanic guy punching a pit bull in the nose that y’all keep sharing? Yes, you do. Many of my friends have shared it. Do you think he is upset that you shared it? No, you are wrong. He thinks it’s funny as hell and is quite proud that you promoted his antics by spreading his cruelty around the world. You think he is embarrassed or ashamed? NO HE IS NOT! If he had a conscience he could not have done this in the first place.
So I ask you my friends. Please stop promoting violence. That is really all you are doing. Do you know the terrorist groups laugh when you share their message? Sure, you share because you are upset. They do not care that you are upset about it. They care that you were kind enough to spread their word.
I know that you believe I am sticking my head in the sand because I refuse to participate in these discussions. But I ask you, what has your discussions and sharing of evil pictures and video done to stop the horror? Have you stopped a single act of violence or have you just promoted it?
Stop and think before you share violence. Just stop and think.

Facebook – I’m a rather poor poet….

Whine, whine, spit and sputter.

Facebook has become a place like no utter.

We post our woes and our poor dashed dreams,

Hoping for comfort but finding more screams.

Misery loves company so I’ll share in your devastation,

If only you’ll promise to share your elations.

Find some joy in this day to tell,

For your wearing me out with your dramas to quell.

Do not forget, I also need cheering,

Whilst in your own world, you sit there sneering.

Some post of Jesus and his hopes to spread,

If you don’t forward the news, soon you’ll be dead.

There’s pictures of money, lotto tickets and such,

If you don’t forward these you’ll never find luck.

You’ll find all the Birthdays on the right of the screen,

If you do not reply, they’ll think you are mean.

So do your duty with diligence I say,

And spread good cheer to all today.