Tag Archives: divorce

Single

Single. There was a time in my twenties this word would have terrified me. Now, I am embracing it. Relationships, I’ve had a few. I use to regret some but know I’m thankful for the experience. Oh sure, I probably could have lived without ever having a gun pointed at me or having someone spit in my face but even those weren’t all bad. No one is all bad.
Today I am happy. No one yells at me. No one tells me what I can or can’t do. I am flying solo and finding a little peace on earth.
I amaze myself daily. I take on projects now knowing that there is no one to back me up. Yes, it’s scary sometimes but you just keep moving forward.
Today I can laugh at some of the crazy things I did in an effort to please a man:

1. Stumble to the kitchen every morning for years because he can’t possibly arise without an obsequious woman serving him coffee in bed.
2. Give up gum because any woman who pops a piece of Wrigleys is obviously a “gum smacking whore.”
3. Glaze 45 windows because he can’t do repetition.
4. Pick up an exconvict from a 10 year stay in a maximum security prison. (I know, I was shocked when he informed me of this duty.)
5. Pour a concrete sidewalk around the house by myself because his back was out.
6. Process three deer in one day.
7. Can tomatoes from 45 tomato plants. Seriously, that’s about nine hundred pounds of tomatoes.
8. Make 7 different banana puddings in an effort to find one that pleases him. As you can guess, none were perfect enough.

The list may be endless but my willingness to participate was not. I guess I always believed if I tried hard enough the sun would shine on me. Well, suck it up buttercup because “fair” is a place for cotton candy and monkey poop.

Happy Un-Anniversary!

Happy Un-Anniversary to me! Tomorrow would have been my 22nd wedding anniversary had I stayed married to the Mr. #1. I’m sure he will celebrate our Un-Anniversary as well! Congrats Mr. #1! Life has moved on. I’ve seen many divorce cakes but as I don’t remember the date that our divorce was final I need an Un-Anniversary cake. I’m thinking something with fireworks and champagne is in order.

It should probably be slightly slanted to reflect the idiocy of marriage between two people that clearly have nothing in common. Something that reflects poor decision making skills and the silly fear of being alone that brought us together in the first place.

Ahhh, this will do nicely…..

Un-Love

Un-Love

It reflects our clearly broken plan of love with bleeding interior exposed. Our bits are no longer aligned demonstrating the complete haphazard years of our union. Haphazard is a great word to describe what we had. If this cake could scream randomly it would truly capture our essence.

I wish Mr. #1 the best on this Un-Anniversary. I hope he found what he was looking for. He’s bound to at least be happier without me!