Do you ever just want to punch someone in the nose? Last night while walking down the soda aisle I ran into a complete stranger that I would have gladly punched in the nose. He was a white haired old man looking for diet cola. An employee who happened to be Hispanic was trying to assist him in his needs as the old man had his obese derriere plopped into a store provided motorized cart. Mr. Asshat kept repeating to said employee “diet cola”. Mr. Employee pointed to a bottle with “cola” written on it and Mr. Asshat got angry. He repeated “DIET COLA”. “THAT IS NOT IT!” Patient Mr. Employee pointed at the generic bottle with “diet cola” written on it. Mr. Asshat stated “NO! THAT IS NOT IT!” “COLA, COLA, I WANT COLA!”. Apparently the way that Mr. Employee pronounced the word “cola” was quite offensive to Mr. Asshat. It sounded too Hispanic and not American enough.
The theory that people get wiser as they get older is just bull hooey. It seems that the older we get the more our obnoxious behaviors refine themselves. It’s always after the fact that I get my best ideas. There are so many things I could have said. I should have tapped him on the shoulder and forced him to look me in the eye. Then asked him in my gentlest southern charm “Why Sir are you being an ass?” His response would have been amusing. But alas, my wit was too slow.
I hope when I’m old and cranky someone will be brave enough to catch me off guard and rattle my world.