I’ll have another lie please with a cherry on top

Crazy eyesYou should always be honest. Well mostly…sometimes….if it’s the easiest thing to do. What would happen if we just told the truth? Would society fall apart? Would we all run around hating each other because the truth was spoken instead of creating a lie to save one’s feelings?

When people get Alzheimer’s there is a small part of the illness that I’m amused by. They will say whatever they are thinking. My Uncle once proclaimed in a busy store “That is the fattest woman I have ever seen.” An 86 year old woman I was friends with looked me straight in the eye and said “I have gas.” She bounced her finger in the air and said “Boop, boop, boop, gas.”

Children will speak their mind also. As a child I had yet to learn the art of diplomacy and offered to help a lady clean her house because it was quite dirty. I also told my aunt her floor was sticky. We’re obviously not born with the need to lie about things. It’s something we are taught to do so that we don’t offend.

My husband likes to be brutally honest. I was standing in the bathroom spraying final touches on my hair when my dearest looks at me and says “You’re not going out like that are you? Did anyone else get hurt in the accident?”

To be honest, we are not very honest. Here are a few truths that I would like to tell but probably never will.

Person 1

I really don’t want to hang out with you because you never listen to me. You dominate all conversations. When I do manage to squeeze a word in you’re not actually listening to me. You’re just piling up paragraphs in your head whilst you wait for me to shut up so that you can blurt them out.  I’m thinking about sticking things in my nose the next time we talk to see if you notice. Maybe I’ll quote Shakespeare too. You have no idea what I’m saying so my words are pointless right?

Person 2

The dust in your office is driving me insane. I can’t take you seriously as a professional because I can’t see past the dirt. The entire time I sit in your office I fantasize about dusting. Would it offend you if I came for my next visit with a Swiffer in hand?

Person 3

Having an animal is a lot of responsibility. Since your dogs are frequently found standing in the street with cars swerving around them I don’t think you’re ready for this. Also, your cat is procreating at my house. Could we move Fluffy’s midnight screams of ecstasy to your house?

No, I’m afraid honesty is not acceptable in our society. It’s a shame though.  Many misunderstandings would never happen if we could just tell the truth.


25 thoughts on “I’ll have another lie please with a cherry on top

  1. mewhoami

    The one I don’t care for is sugar coating. I have respect for those who are not afraid to be honest. But, I fail in that department also. There is so much I would love to say, but don’t for the sake of others’ feelings and possibly to avoid the risk of going to jail. 🙂

  2. painterswife

    I like the approach taken by Phoebe in Friends (all those years ago) when invited to go somewhere with someone, ‘Yeah, I wish I could, but I don’t want to.’ I’m trying to use this one more in an attempt to be honest and disarming at the same time!

  3. JED

    Fantasizing about dusting sounds like it could be a real bummer. Your thoughts on speaking your mind are very interesting and well thought out. I enjoyed the read and appreciate your linking up with the What if challenge? Hope to see you back real soon…

      1. JED

        I’ve been trying to do challenges that are a little different than the normal ones you see by using the what if theme. They will usually make you have to think so please keep checking back for more.

  4. Pingback: Update on the What if challenge? Week twelve | Okay, what if ?

  5. Pat(ricia)

    roflmbo —- I loved this post – great response to the What If? challenge. Well presented and certainly so much people could relate to …. er …. dangling preposition …. oh no! See, my brain says “You know better” but my hands type it anyhow 😉

  6. Sahm King

    I think I’m person one to my girlfriend (though, i do actually listen to her…sometimes grudgingly). She’s brutally honest, I’d say. I prefer it that way. It’s probably because my incessant self reviewing. I want to know my faults. I think brutal honesty is a good thing…

    But, then, you have a point… I’ve witnessed brutal honesty drive someone to suicide, cause people to lose their jobs, get arrested, killed… Perhaps diplomacy is useful in a society ill equipped to handle the truths of itself.

    Great post.

  7. tjtherien

    I try to be one of those honest guys… mine is the lie of omission… I bite my tongue if it’s hurtful…but I’m not afraid to call someone on their crap… in my own experience most people don’t want to hear the truth

  8. Swarn Gill

    Interesting post! I have some cousins who used to live in Malaysia where they grew up. They had a sort of more blunt honesty about them, because that is what the culture is like. So they do tell each other they look fat, and nobody feels really that bad about it. They do something about it. So sometimes I wonder if our inability to hear the truth is just because our baseline average threshold is just set too low. But of course like many things in life their is a downside. What if you’re not fat and somebody tells you that you are? You may make some unhealthy decisions and starve yourself or try bulimia to lose weight. You may not learn to ever like the way you like. Of course someone who would do that should not be part of this honest society. But that’s the problem. Unless you can guarantee a society of honesty, assuming everyone is honest all the time would be a bad idea.

    But let’s say there was this all honest society. We might still have problems because of the fact that we are not perfect. We may look at the sky and think the universe is turning around us, when in fact we are just rotating on our axis, like Julia Andrews in the hills of Austria twirling to see the world around her. We could live in a bad neighborhood where a lot of Hispanics live and grow up thinking that since Hispanics cause crime in your neighborhood that all Hispanics are bad. We could spread this hate far and wide should we rise to a position of wealth and/or power. We would be lying, but thinking that we were being honest and that is the most dangerous form of honesty. We would not have seen that in fact the people in your neighborhood were victims of system that alienated minorities, that had access to less education, less health care, less social programs, etc.

    The problem with an all honest society I think is ultimately is that being honest isn’t necessarily the truth.

  9. Swiss-Ami-Mom

    Agree! We have a Home for (don’t know the Diplomatic word in all honesty) Mentally challenged Adults in our Village. When it is shopping day for them in the local store, the honesty there is in FULL SWING and you know what? I love it! I love that they just “say it”. Straight forward, sometimes embarrassingly funny 🙂 You nailed it!


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