Pearl: I think everyone should have the right to be happy.
Me: No Pearl, not that kind of gay. I mean how do you feel about men being able to marry men and women being able to marry women?
Pearl: Oh, well…lets see… boys have cooties so no one should ever marry a boy. Girls do the cooking so that’s definitely better. Yeah, everybody should marry girls.
Me: That’s kind of sexist to say that cooking is just for women.
Pearl: **face paws** I just don’t understand you humans. You say some of the silliest things. Ok fine! You take me for my walks so everybody should marry girls because they take walks.
Me: But men could take walks or cook if they wanted to.
Pearl: Uh huh, but they don’t so why would you want to marry them?
Me: Well, because they….well…umm….. BUGS! They can kill the bugs when they get in the house.
Pearl: If they weren’t so busy watching TV they wouldn’t let bugs come in the house in the first place. They have one job to do and can’t get that done. Nope, nobody should marry men.
Me: Who could argue with that logic?
Pearl: Nobody. Now, are there any other worldly problems that I need to solve for you before you can fix lunch?
Me: Well, I was also wondering how you felt about ObamaCare.
Pearl: I hate it.
Me: Why do you hate it?
Pearl: Because I’m hungry.
Me: That doesn’t even make sense.
Pearl: No? Let’s discuss it over a plate of ravioli.
Me: Oh Pearl, don’t you even care about the issues of the world?
Pearl: Not if it’s going to interfere with lunch. ***opens refrigerator door** You got any chicken in here?
Me: I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!
Pearl: You’re off your medications again aren’t you?
Me: I am not off my medications!
Pearl: Uh huh, then why are you yelling at me? I am cute and sweet and hungry. You would have to be crazy to stand here and yell at me when there is perfectly good chicken in that refrigerator waiting to be cooked.
Me: Of course, I don’t know what I was thinking…..