Where is my mark? You know the one. It’s supposed to let the world know I was here. They’ll look at it and proclaim “Oh! That’s where Deanna was. She left her mark right there.” I think most people leave their mark in the children they produce. There’s always this tiny hope that somewhere in your lineage a great mind will be propagated. I failed at leaving a living legacy so I need to leave a mark elsewhere. I tried to ask Pearl (the finest Chihuahua ever) but she just told me to pee on the corners. That would definitely leave a mark. The neighbors would talk about that for a while. This is the one time I probably shouldn’t get advice from a Chihuahua.
Looking back, I’m sure I’ve made a few people laugh and maybe I’ve made a few cry throughout my life but how has the world changed because I was in it? I don’t think it has. Nope, no great inventions or timeless treasures were created by me. Sure I’ve been busy. I work, I clean, I feed my husband. Somehow I don’t think this is going to look so good on my tombstone though. What could I possibly be remembered for?
“She made a great chocolate pie.”
“Her filing system was organized and easy to traverse.”
“She faithfully walked her dogs.”
“She brought her husband coffee in bed every day.”
“She earned a 3rd place trophy in the Little Rock Half-Marathon.”
“Her name is on a plaque in the Little Rock Federal Courthouse.”
“Channel eleven shot their morning news show from her house once.”
Yes, I’ve been busy. I just haven’t managed to accomplish a damn thing that will matter when I’m gone. I’ve done lots of things that were needed, necessary and even fun but do any of them make a big difference in the end? Have I been utterly selfish in only taking care of me and not worrying about the effect I have on this world?
I do hold a little promise in the butterfly effect. Maybe I smiled at someone who desperately needed hope. Maybe my little gift was enough to change someone’s future. Maybe my actions inspired someone. Maybe my remains in the ground will fertilize an amazing tree. (I’m pretty sure I can accomplish this one.)
It’s quite clear to me that I am no Einstein and the likelihood of my actions creating world peace is very slim. But maybe, just maybe I did something that will make a difference in the end. It’s not over yet. I still have time. Maybe I should walk around looking for brilliant people that I can inspire or encourage.