It’s that wonderful time of the year again. Time to polish up the elbows and bring out the knee pads. Soon we will descend upon our local department stores in vicious throngs armed with the Christmas Spirit. Our need for the best deals driving us to lunge and grab for underpriced electronics as we pile drive our neighbors in a mad frenzy. It’s just part of being an American.
Last year we took my elderly Aunt along. She stood in front of the items I wanted with a buggy wedged between her and the crowd as she tried to assume a poor little old feeble lady stance. They may cuss and sneer but no one will knock about the feeble one. While we tore the plastic and snatched our items when the clock struck 8:00pm there was a code white in housewares as several middle aged women are pulling each other’s hair out in the battle for 800 thread count sheets.
Wal-Mart seems to be the favorite place for angry red-necks. If you’re not scared of a bit more violence I recommend heading on over to the Radio Shack. I braved that one only once in my life and swore to never do it again. I had been standing in line for an hour waiting for the doors to open when a heavy set lady with her teenage child walks up and tries to break into the front of the line. Bad move lady. Seriously bad move. The lady in front of me starts screaming at her. Break-in lady tries to ignore her and pushes her way in anyway. Angry lady just is not going to stand for that. She grabs break-in lady by her purse strap and whirls her around. At that time the clock struck the magic hour and the doors opened to the store. I dashed past the grappling two in the floor and jumped over their purses to snatch up the electronics that I somehow thought would be worth this effort. I did get my purchases for half of the regular price but I also met a side of humanity that scares me.
So, will I brave the idiots again this year? Probably. I can’t seem to help myself. Black Friday is a terrible sickness. The weird part is I had as much fun waiting and watching as I did getting bargains. Complete strangers will strike up long conversations with you in the excitement. It’s kind of fun in a sick and aggressive way. I think it’s the adrenaline rush that makes me do it. I’m not alone though. My husband once sat in line for two hours to get a television for half price.