Here’s a Halloween Treat for You..

GraveWhat a perfect Halloween Day it is! The sky is dreary and even the birds refuse to sing. I went to the store last night and considered buying candy for the kiddies but quickly abandoned that plan. The large bag of chocolates was $13.98! Whatever happened to penny candy? Being the frugal person that I am I have decided to pass out sarcasm. I’m sure the kids will appreciate my efforts. Sarcasm is the gift that keeps on giving. No one says “Oh, I already have one of those.” You can re-gift sarcasm without fear of hurting anyone’s feelings. Ok, so it can hurt a little. What do I care? I’m sarcastic. Here are a few comments that I’m passing out today. Feel free to re-gift as often as you like.

  1. People say I’ve got no taste but I like you.
  2. I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
  3. I don’t really hate you. It’s just that if you were on fire I’d roast marshmallows.
  4. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
  5. I’m not arguing. I’m explaining why I’m correct.
  6. Aww that is cute! You actually think I care!
  7. I’m not stubborn. I’m just always right.
  8. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do that for you.
  9. Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
  10. I am not young enough to know everything.
  11. If you ever become a mother can I have one of the puppies?
  12. Every time I look at you I get a strong desire to be lonely.
  13. You can be anything you want when you grow up. In your case though, you should probably aim low.
  14. Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
  15. Today I have successfully beaten my all-time record for most consecutive days lived.

6 thoughts on “Here’s a Halloween Treat for You..

  1. sheenmeem

    I can certainly borrow those gems which you have generously written. I fail at moments where they are needed. I will try to to imbed them inside my forgetful brain.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s