Why I’m scared of adverbs

DSCF0598I keep reading that you should omit adverbs from your writing. These things are utterly useless and don’t contribute a thing. (Crap, even some strings of words are considered adverb phrases.) As a lifelong adverablist (Yes, I just blatantly made up a word.) this is rather hard to do. I had no idea how often I use adverbs in my everyday speaking. Since I carelessly write like I speak I am now considering how many poorly (Give poorly a chance. How else will you know I wasn’t speaking well?) spoken conversations I have had.  Don’t adverbs punctuate and emphasize (Yes, I know you were not necessary.) your statement?

I cannot let them go! I will not let them go! I am an adverbalist! My jauntily written words are hastily typed and somewhat absentmindedly penned. (Dang phrases!) Take your obnoxiously judgmental attitude elsewhere.  How can proper grammar possibly reflect my emotions? My head hurts now. I fear I may have nightmares about redundant phrases. Punctuation is not far behind. Why must the English language be so difficult?

I am dead to adverbs; they cannot excite me ….Mark Twain- “Reply to a Boston Girl,” Atlantic Monthly, June 1880

12 thoughts on “Why I’m scared of adverbs

  1. dogsarentkids

    I think everyone has their own definition of what should or should not be done when writing. Professionally, they don’t like a lot of “filler words” which basically is what you have done here 🙂 But then the writing turns out really dry and boring.

  2. Gloria

    You write just as you talk and if you tried to avoid using them you would not be true to yourself. I love you just as you are so don’t change a thing.

  3. mewhoami

    I agree with dogsarentkids. If you don’t include some adverbs, then the writing would be very dry. Adverbs bring life to the story. Professionals can say what they want, but I rather read a story filled with adverbs than one that will put me to sleep.

  4. robby1864

    I’ve been told that I write exactly as I speak as well. When I read some of my posts they inspire me to never speak again. I hope you just keep on being an adverbalist, I enjoy reading you.


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