Alcohol- bringing fun to life since prohibition. In 1933 the ban on this life sustaining substance was lifted and America was at last relieved of reality. The consumption of alcohol was here to stay. With the right vice we can be sexy, relaxed and jovial. Our stresses of the week will completely disappear. All of life’s answers can be found with a bottle of Bud. Social anxieties are thrown out the window as you ply yourself with liquor. Your dancing and singing abilities immediately increase. That girl with the missing tooth kinda starts looking good. When did she get so damn sexy?
If you’re Irish then the Ale is closer to a vitamin. If it weren’t for Guinness there would be no Irish drinking songs! What would the world be without Irish drinking songs? You have to love a country that brings their children to the Pubs. This alone is proof of how family friendly a pint can be. Now I wonder if we Irish aren’t the reason for backyard barbeques in America. You can’t have one without some ice cold beer. That’s un-American.
If it weren’t for beer my first wedding never would have happened. I kid you not. It’s a very true story which I refuse to tell without a gin and tonic. I wonder how many great things were accomplished because of the bubbly. The courage it gives is truly remarkable. The most timid soul can and will delve into public speaking with enough liquid courage. Maybe we should have alcohol dispensers in High Schools. Do you have any idea how many giddy girls would stop wondering if a guy liked her and would just blatantly ask him though with slightly slurred speech? Cheer leaders would be much more fun to watch too. The pyramids would be hilarious.
Let’s not forget the sex appeal of alcohol. According to advertising it is what all the sexy girls do. They stay skinny though downing the caloric equivalent of 16 Big Macs. Their hair is still lovely and they smell sweet as the morning dew.
As the weekend begins by all means, go grab a bottle and drink your troubles away. Life will be better in just a little while.