Me: Pearl, I’m going to set the Sonic bag in the floor board. Please do not stick your nose in it.
Pearl: That sure does smell good. Is that cheeseburgers in there?
Me: Yes but it is not for you. This is our supper. You have to eat kibble. One of us needs to be healthy.
Pearl: ***jumps in seat** Oooooops, I fell and landed on bag. ***French fries scatter across floor of car**
Me: Pearl! You did that on purpose!
Pearl: ***smack, chew, smack, snort** These are hot!
Me: Pearl! Do not eat those! I mean it Pearl! Leave them alone!!
Jasper: **shaking in seat** I didn’t do it. Please don’t yell.
Pearl: ***smack, chew, smack, snort** Don’t worry, I’m saving them as fast as I can. It hasn’t been ten seconds yet.
Me: I don’t want YOU to save them! Stop that right now!
Pearl: **smack, chew, smack, snort*** Wow! These are hot. They should put less salt on these.
Me: Why are you ignoring me??
Jasper: **still shaking in seat*** Y’all stop yelling please! You’re scaring me!
Pearl: **smack, chew, smack, snort** Yep these are too salty.
Me: **stops at stop sign. Car behind me honking. Try to reach fries. Pearl pushes them farther away. Car honking louder**
Jasper: Hurry! Go! That guy in the car is going to shoot us. **shaking wildly**
Pearl: **smack, chew, smack, snort**
And so Pete, that is why there weren’t any fries with your combo meal.