Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire


I’m afraid I am a repeat offender. I have a lie that I keep as a close personal friend. I bring it out so often we have become quite close. It no longer feels like a lie. It is just a natural response. It is easier than explaining the truth. I used to try to explain it but I get tired of that. I can cut the conversation short and avoid lots of questions just by inserting a little lie. The questions are innocent enough and the people that ask them really do not mean any harm. It’s just that I don’t want to explain it anymore. Can’t we just pretend it’s not there?

It usually happens when I’m trying to carry a drink in my hand. Most of the time I don’t even notice it. I’ve just done it for so long that this is my normal. But someone will ask “Are you cold?” I lie and say yes. My lie is awkward in August but they never question me further. I see the thoughts in their eyes but they will not call me on it.

Essential Tremors is a part of who I am. I don’t mind it so much. That is unless I am trying to carry a cup of coffee in one of those little Styrofoam cups. Then everyone around me is in danger of being burned. My left hand is worse than my right. If I focus really hard I can make it so bad that I look like a dog shitting a peach seed. Trying to make it stop actually makes it worse. In order for it to slow down I have to ignore it. That’s part of why I lie. If we start talking about it I am then focused on the tremors and they will most likely increase.

So, the next time you see me at a buffet table with a paper plate in my left hand please do not mention the broccoli that is jumping up and down in retaliation. If we start talking about it you may just end up wearing my hors d’oeuvres if you’re standing too close.

19 thoughts on “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

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  8. kevindeisher

    That’s really a great story. I have to camouflage an illness that I have at work so it doesn’t freak people out. I have had tremors as a result of some medications too, so I can empathize a bit with you.

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