Happy Un-Anniversary to me! Tomorrow would have been my 22nd wedding anniversary had I stayed married to the Mr. #1. I’m sure he will celebrate our Un-Anniversary as well! Congrats Mr. #1! Life has moved on. I’ve seen many divorce cakes but as I don’t remember the date that our divorce was final I need an Un-Anniversary cake. I’m thinking something with fireworks and champagne is in order.
It should probably be slightly slanted to reflect the idiocy of marriage between two people that clearly have nothing in common. Something that reflects poor decision making skills and the silly fear of being alone that brought us together in the first place.
Ahhh, this will do nicely…..
It reflects our clearly broken plan of love with bleeding interior exposed. Our bits are no longer aligned demonstrating the complete haphazard years of our union. Haphazard is a great word to describe what we had. If this cake could scream randomly it would truly capture our essence.
I wish Mr. #1 the best on this Un-Anniversary. I hope he found what he was looking for. He’s bound to at least be happier without me!
I’ve decided to add another skillset to my resume. I’m sure it will assist me somewhere down the road. You see, I am a Master Bargain-ista. I can smell a good deal a mile away. I stalk them like prey. I watch the items I want in the stores and then pounce when the sale is on. I am the one that buys ten cases of Hunts Tomatoes when they go on sale for 50 cents a can. (Regular price is around $1.00 per can.) Last night I found some comfortable summer shirts for $1.00 each! Seriously, a dollar for a shirt! I get giddy just thinking about it.
Ok, so I hear you thinking. Dang! That girl is cheap! I beg to differ. I am frugal! I am BARGAIN-ISTA! I can stretch a dollar farther than homemade taffy. I can definitely make that piggy squeal. The cost of meat is a constant battle of mine. I only purchase meat when it is on sale and then I buy in bulk. Any true Bargain-ista owns a deep freezer to hoard their conquests.
I think my bargaining quests originally started from need. As many young twenty-somethings are, I often had no idea where my next meal was coming from or how I was going to buy enough gas to get to work. Replenishing my wardrobe at yard sales was the only way I was going to get something new. At least it was new to me. Sometimes I would search for pennies and roll them up so I could head down to Charlie’s Grocery Store and buy a bag of dry beans. A pound of beans covered in water in the crock pot could keep me eating for a little while.
Now that I am older and I don’t have to live paycheck to paycheck anymore I still watch my pennies. They add up to dollars and we all know that dollars can buy great toys!
Have you seen my milk cow? No, probably not since no one has one anymore. It hasn’t been that long ago that everyone had their own milk cow along with a huge garden. It was just what Americans did. We provided most of our own food. We were self-supporting. It left no room for laziness. If you didn’t work you didn’t eat. There wasn’t a department store on every corner then. When you went to town it was to purchase sugar and flour. Yes, women made their own bread. I’m afraid cooking is an art that is being lost with modernism. It wasn’t that long ago that women had to cook. It wasn’t optional. If you didn’t cook your family didn’t eat.
We have changed so quickly. My Mother has told me stories of taking a bath in a wash tub that was set in the kitchen floor. My Aunt Vivian tells of my Grandmother tacking newspapers to the walls to keep the wind out. I have heard that my Father’s Mother would add another cup of water to the soup when there was another mouth to feed. Going to church on Sunday was an event because you never went anywhere. Church was a place where you kept up with your neighbors.
Things are so very different now. Laundry is much easier to do. Of course the rich folks had servants to do their hard work back then but I did not come from such stock. My ancestors were poor in money but rich in family. The food was very good because the women took pride in their gardens and their cooking skills. I wish that part of America wasn’t being left behind.
Me: Hush Pearl!!
Pearl: Ahem, are you going to heat up your lunch?
Me: Not right now. I’m not hungry yet.
Pearl: I’m hungry.
Me: Pearl, you are not hungry. I gave you kibble.
Pearl: Kibble is for dogs. I can’t eat that stuff!
Me: Pearl, you are a dog.
Pearl: I AM NOT!
Me: You bark, you pee on everything outside and you beg for food constantly.
Pearl: So does Daddy but you don’t call him a dog!
Me: He…Why….No….Argh! I did not marry a dog.
Pearl: Ah Hah! So you admit that I am not a dog?
Me: Umm.. no…you are still a dog.
Pearl: Do I not sit on the sofa? Do I not sleep in the big bed? Does Grandma-ma not come to see me? I rest my case.
Me: ………….I……….oh………you….. I don’t even know what to say.
Pearl: Good, now are you going to heat up our lunch?
Me: I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ll get right on that Pearl.
Margaret Landgridge gave me the best award ever. It is now my turn to pay it forward.
It is time to give thanks to 10 bloggers that are part of my WordPress Family. You may not be too thrilled to be part of my family but never fear! I have taken my meds today!
ZooBoo – I enjoy reading your posts because I am afraid I had forgotten what it is like to be young and silly. Thank you for reminding me.
A Little Fluff – The thing I like most about WordPress is that I get to see the world through the eyes of others. Thank you for letting me see your world.
Terry1954 – You are an inspiration to everyone. I have no idea how you do it.
My amusing disposition – You’re just not right in the head. I think we could be bffs.
RUVI – Because, how can you not like someone that talks to themselves?
Kitty Bloger – Because, hey cats!
Make your mark on life – You make me think. Which is sometimes scary but at least I’m using my brain for something other than sarcasm.
Valley Girl Gone Country – Nothing is off limits for you. Your “you can’t say that” filter is clogged too.
My Atheist Blog – You’re such a rebel.
Kevin Deisher – Because you are determined. I like that about you.
I know you’re shocked and amazed but I have won the Self-Recognition award. This award is awarded by myself for my sheer awesomeness. No one else could every possibly receive this award because I am quite fond of myself and know my talents well. How can you compete with that? My list of achievements is outstanding. I even amaze myself. My opinions are set in stone because I am always right. Do you think it is easy to be right all the time? It’s the burden I bear.
I once thought I was wrong on June 3, 1976 but I was not. Lions should definitely be colored purple. There also was that time that I crushed my brother’s model cars but that turned out to be his fault for leaving them in an area that I may wish to walk. Silly boy.
Throughout my 20’s there were times that I almost thought I was wrong but again it turns out that I was not. I once threw a clipboard at the Plant Manager of a factory I was working in. One might think that hurling things at the big boss is a mistake but clearly he was a moron and needed me to call that to his attention. Then there was my first marriage when I thought I could change a man into being what I wanted. Obviously that was his fault for not realizing the man that he could potentially be. He could have been ideal for me had he only done everything that I required. Silly, silly man.
In my 30’s I completely quit questioning my awesomeness. By then I had determined that I am always right and there is no need to ever question that.
I have now reached my 40’s and I fear that people may be a little intimidated with my perfection. I am 30 pounds heavier now but big butts are all the rage. Don’t be jealous because your scrawny butt is all sharp edges with no cushion.
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- Such A Pretty Trophy | Maggie’s Stories
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- My Award | The Nest
- Professor Dudley Worthington’s Lifetime Achievement Award (short fiction) | The Jittery Goat
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What would happen if you really did live each day like it were your last? Is that really possible? What would you do differently?
First of all I would have tiramisu for breakfast and prosciutto with exotic cheeses for lunch. My health would go out the window as I plunged into decadent pastries. In reality I don’t think it’s possible to live each day as your last when it comes to eating. I think we are natural pleasure seekers and would kill ourselves in diet alone.
Is there anywhere this theory could be used? I’m pretty happy with my life as it is so I’m not sure what I would do differently. I don’t have children so I have no problem finding “me” time. I suppose some people might take more financial risks in an effort to live life to its fullest but I don’t think that’s for me. I am not financially rich but I have everything that I want. Some of my favorite things don’t cost a dime. People look at me like I’m crazy when I tell them that I don’t want to win the lottery. Seriously, do you know how much work is involved in taking care of millions of dollars? I don’t need the worry.
I think maybe Nicolas Boileau had it right. “He who lives content with little possesses everything.”
I think maybe if today were to be my last that I wouldn’t change a thing.
Since I like to do things backwards, here are seven interesting things about me that you were just dying to know. Yes, you were. Don’t deny it.
- I own two buckskin dresses complete with patched bullet holes (from when the elk was shot not me. Let’s just clarify that I have not been shot.)
- The local morning news show once shot their morning show live in my house. www.kthv.com
- My elbows are freaky and I can twist them around.
- I love to cook. I can make a pie that will make you cry. My biscuits are heavenly.
- Once I was driving down a dirt road and a herd of cows surrounded my car. They would not let me go.
- I’ve never had cable/satellite tv. Ever….
- I grind my own deer meat. After the hubby shoots em’ of course.
Yup, I got a nudder one. It’s the Versatile Blogger Award.
I was nominated by Mary Calabrese. Thank you ever so much my dear.
Here’s how it works: 1. Display the Award Certificate on your blog.
2. Announce your win with a post and thank the blogger who nominated you.
3. Present 15 deserving bloggers with the award.
4. Link your nominees in the post and let them know of their nomination with a comment.
5. Post 7 interesting things about yourself.
So here are my nominations:
Shoot, I’m having a hard time figuring out who has gotten this and who hasn’t. These award things are hard work!
Awards are very flattering. I think maybe it’s just nice to hear that someone enjoys reading the random thoughts that trickle from your brain. Since I have previously received this particular award I have decided to answer the questions from my latest nominators on one post.
The following are from the wonderful blog of Escaping a Daydream
1. Do you have a pet? What is life without pets? They truly do make the world a better place. They cure depression and make me smile. I am proud to be owned by Pearl (female chihuahua), Jasper (male chihuahua) and Mattie (the unfriendly kitty). Mattie was a little kitty near death when we found her in our yard. Her eyes were matted shut hence the name.
2. Do you enjoy travel? If so where have you been? I almost never go anywhere except for work or home. I do occasionally make a trip to Tennessee to visit family but I generally keep my world very small. It’s not that I don’t want to ever travel. I am just quite happy at home. Once a month I do head to our little cabin in the woods. It lies in North Central Arkansas and is precisely smack dab in the middle of nowhere.
3. What got you into blogging? My facebook posts were getting a bit long. It was suggested by my friends that maybe I should take my mindless drivel on the road. So here it is in internet land.
4. If you like to be creative with your blog, and have a writer’s block, what do you do? I look at pictures. A picture really does contain a thousand words and can return you to an event in your life or remind you of the way someone made you feel.
5. If you would like to meet someone from the future, who would it be and why? for example, a president, someone who has been to mars etc.. If I could wear my magic cape and ride my unicorn into the future I would wish to see someone that carries my picture as their ancestor. I could bring their history alive for them.
6. Where do you live, and would you like to live somewhere else one day? I live in a small town in Arkansas. We have a huge population of 4,553. This is truly huge if you consider that before I moved here I lived in the town of Keo, AR with a population of 235. I was so excited to move to this town where I can buy milk. It’s those little things you take for granted. I don’t think I’ll ever leave Lonoke, AR. It is my happy place.
7. Kindle or paperback? I am an avid reader but so far I am still holding onto paper. I have recently been considering jumping on the Kindle bandwagon though. The problem is I can’t buy e-books at a yard sale.
8. Do you like tech gadgets? If so, what was your latest addition? No, I’m not very gadgety. Yes, I just made up a word. Microsoft Word does not like my new word and has begrudgingly underlined it with that red squiggly. How dare it not trust me!
9. What would you like to be doing in 10 years time? You know, I haven’t the slightest idea. I should really get some goals.
10. ’Team Edward’ or ‘Team Jacob’ , or Team ‘I have no idea what you are talking about’? I actually do know what you’re talking about. I just haven’t actually seen the films.
The following are from the wonderful blog of Princess Fairy ZooBoo
1. What is your favourite colour? Cobalt Blue! It used to be Salmon but my tastes are ever changing.
2. Cornetto, Magnum, or some other ice cream? We have a little Dairy Bar in our town where you can buy soft serve ice cream cones for $1.00. The Dairy Bar is so small that they don’t have indoor seating for patrons. You can sit at one of the picnic tables outside or take your purchase home to eat. On hot summer days it is difficult to resist the temptation of a $1.00 ice cream cone.
3. Do you like mangoes? Yes, though I don’t buy a lot of fruit. Who could pass up mango salsa though?
4. If you had a bag of happy fairy dust, why/on who would you sprinkle it? I would dump the whole bag on my dearest husband. Mr. Grumpy forgets how to smile sometimes which is odd since he is the best joke teller I have ever met.
5. What is your favourite TV drama, and why? That would have to be “Two Broke Girls”. They are absurd and make me laugh.
6. Is there any landmark/city you would like to visit one day, and why? That would definitely be the Smithsonian. I will get there someday!
7. Have you seen a fantastic movie lately? No, it’s been awhile.
8. Are you a shopaholic, or a chocoholic? Ahem, please see my previous post regarding shoes.
9. Do you like pie? If so, have you got a favourite? When we got married I made a table full of pies. My husband wanted wedding pie instead of wedding cake. I know that’s odd but he marches to the beat of his own oboe.
10. Just out of sheer curiosity, have you ever seen a rainbow? On my way home from work one day there was a full rainbow stretching across the rice fields. That was the first time I had ever seen both ends of a rainbow at the same time.