Pearl: **stomps front paws** AHEM, SIGH….
Me: Are you having a problem Pearl?
Pearl: Me? No, I’m fine. Carry on with your typing.
Me: Ok then.
Pearl: **puts front paws on my leg and stretches** SIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH…..
Me: I’m trying to work Pearl. I have to get this done.
Pearl: Oh, it’s OK. I will be fine. Eventually…
Me: Good then, go lay down please.
Pearl: **goes back to bed**growls at Jasper**
Me: Pearl! Why are you being mean to Jasper??
Pearl: What? It’s warm where he was laying. I want the warm spot.
Me: You can’t be mean to him like that! Stop it!
Pearl: If you would give me the attention I need and deserve we wouldn’t have this problem now would we? It’s just like you to always blame me for your neglect!
Me: Neglect? What neglect?
Pearl: Clearly I have been trying to get you to show me the tiniest bit of attention all morning but no. You can’t possibly do that. You have put your typing before me yet again!
Me: I have to do this work. It is why they pay me to be here.
Pearl: See what I mean! You just admitted that you are a poor human and do not attend my needs very well.
Me: Umm…I don’t think that’s what I said.
Pearl: Oh, so you’re going to call me a liar also? Why don’t you just kick me while I’m down? ***sobs into paws***
Me: Ok Pearl. I will hold you while I type.
Pearl: **sniffles****climbs into chair with me** Hey! Scooch over! I need room to sleep here!
Me: I STILL HAVE TO TYPE PEARL!
Pearl: I thought we just agreed that you were going to be a better human and take care of my needs. What happened to that?
Me: Sigh….I don’t know what I was thinking Pearl. Surely I can type from three feet away.
Pearl: Thank You! Sheesh!