I don’t like shrimp – I have tried. Really I have. It looks so pretty and appetizing but I just can’t do it. I’ve tried it every way that it can be prepared. I’ve tried it at really nice restaurants and in fast food. I’ve tried it boiled, fried and grilled. I tried it many times because I am supposed to like it. I finally just had to face the facts. I just don’t like shrimp.
I don’t like the ocean – I know, that is un-American. We are all supposed to work hard at our jobs then run to the beach on our vacations. But I don’t like them. I don’t like salt water. I don’t like not knowing what kind of creatures are going to come up and nip my ankles. I don’t like looking at the water. It is depressing to me. It seems to go to nothingness. It’s supposed to be peaceful but it just makes me want to cry. I don’t like lying on the ground with a bunch of nearly naked people while staring at all of that water that seems to go nowhere. I don’t ever want to go on a cruise. The thought of being completely surrounded by water with no land to stand on sends me into a panic attack.
I don’t like chocolate chips – Everyone loves a chocolate chip cookie right? Not me. Don’t get me wrong, I like chocolate. I just don’t like chocolate chips. They are waxy to me. When they are in a cookie you get these little bursts of excessive sweetness and lose the flavor of the gently prepared flour, sugar and butter combo. I need to taste the sweet dough in a cookie. I don’t like losing it to an overpowering chip of chocolate.
I don’t like sermons to be preached at funerals – I need a funeral to be about closure. I need to remember the person we are saying goodbye to. I don’t understand why a preacher would compose a Sunday morning sermon for a funeral. I just don’t get it at all. A few comforting scriptures are nice but leave your sermon for a time when we are in a mindset to learn. When I am staring at a casket I want to remember the person in it. I want to think about their life and what I learned from them. I want the words spoken to be about the person in that casket.
I don’t like watching TV – I know, you are asking yourself “Are you really American”? I do like a good movie but most television programs do not keep me entertained. I get bored. My attention span is short. Sometimes I will try to watch a program with my husband but I rarely make it through an entire episode without getting up to do something else. I make a lousy couch potato.
So, there is my confession for all the world to see. You may shake your head in disbelief but I have told the truth.