Single Black Male seeks
Single Black Female of any sort. I am 5 pounds of sexy and I will rock your world. I have left my scent around several blocks in Lonoke and around the barn in Cabot if you are available. I have the heart of a Rottweiler but I can sooth you with the song of my people. Please, no fly swatters or loud noises. That chit is scary.
Sigh, I caught Jasper trying to hookup on the internet again. He keeps spreading his scent around town so the ladies will know his where-abouts. His “where-abouts” were removed a few years ago but he hasn’t figured this out yet. In essence all of his scent marking is as useful as those guys who like to hang their fake “fruit basket” from the trailer hitch on their trucks. (I was going to post a picture of those truck accessories but they are so hideous I just can’t do it.) When I see those I always assume the owner of said truck has as much real “where-abouts” as Jasper. I believe the technical term for this sickness in men is called “Itty Bitty Pee Pee Syndrome”. It causes them to purchase oversized trucks, tiny sports cars and loud motorcycles. You will recognize them by the quantity of black leather they wear in August and their chain drive wallets.
What is the purpose of a chain drive wallet? Does it keep would be thieves from stealing your money? If this is true then why don’t you see rich men with chain drive wallets? The only men I’ve ever seen wearing them are poor as dirt. Maybe it is a sign to thieves that they actually haven’t any money and attempted robbery would truly be a waste of energy.
If Jasper had money he would soooo wear a chain drive wallet. And leather chaps, he is definitely a chaps kind of guy.
I would like to insert an apology here to all of the men that I know with “fruit basket” accessories and chain drive wallets. Oh, never mind. Who am I kidding? Guys please! Those things are hideous! Let it gooooooo.