Conversations with Pearl – I need a treat

Phone

Pearl: I need a treat

Me: Why? What did you do to deserve a treat?

Pearl: I was cute while lying right over there. **Points paw to bed**

Me: Pearl, you were just sleeping. That is not an accomplishment.

Pearl: It is so! I was gathering my beauty while sleeping. If I am beautiful then people will be looking at me and won’t even notice your muffin top.

Me: **grits teeth**….**face turns red** UGH!!

Pearl: I think something’s wrong with your hormones. Your face is doing that squinchy thing.

Me: It is rude to insult people Pearl. They will not be nice to you if you insult them!

Pearl: Oh my, those hormones are through the roof now. Never mind. I’ll just get my own. **climbs into chair** scratches at bag with paw**runs back to bed with whole bag of treats**

Me: Really! You’re just going to steal the whole bag like that?

Pearl: Nom, nom, nom**swallows** It’s not stealing! They are my treats!

Me: **Grabs bag back** They are to be eaten in small quantities. Not all at once!

Pearl: ***Runs back to chair**dials phone**

Me: Who are you calling?

Pearl: Your doctor of course. You’re going to kill somebody if we don’t get those hormones fixed.

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