Pearl: I need a treat
Me: Why? What did you do to deserve a treat?
Pearl: I was cute while lying right over there. **Points paw to bed**
Me: Pearl, you were just sleeping. That is not an accomplishment.
Pearl: It is so! I was gathering my beauty while sleeping. If I am beautiful then people will be looking at me and won’t even notice your muffin top.
Me: **grits teeth**….**face turns red** UGH!!
Pearl: I think something’s wrong with your hormones. Your face is doing that squinchy thing.
Me: It is rude to insult people Pearl. They will not be nice to you if you insult them!
Pearl: Oh my, those hormones are through the roof now. Never mind. I’ll just get my own. **climbs into chair** scratches at bag with paw**runs back to bed with whole bag of treats**
Me: Really! You’re just going to steal the whole bag like that?
Pearl: Nom, nom, nom**swallows** It’s not stealing! They are my treats!
Me: **Grabs bag back** They are to be eaten in small quantities. Not all at once!
Pearl: ***Runs back to chair**dials phone**
Me: Who are you calling?
Pearl: Your doctor of course. You’re going to kill somebody if we don’t get those hormones fixed.